Once upon a time there was a world with zombies the zombies took over the world but there was one more family the zombies found the family but they went on a big ship and they were safe. One day after they were hungry and thirsty because they had not drunk or eaten for 6 days they looked at the front of the ship.
They saw an island they thought there was people on the island when they got on the island but they did not know they were zombies the zombies attacked them 2 of them died the other 4 quickly ran back to their ship they got away before the zombies ate them.
P2 When they got away from the zombies they looked for land they saw some land this time they were people so they went on the land the family said to the other people “come on to the ship”.
P3 So when they hopped on the ship they started going to find some more land finally they saw land they got on to the land but the land was broken when they went around a house they saw zombies the zombies were going to eat them so they ran and ran from the zombies .
The lesson the people learnt was not to go back to the land again .
Great job at getting your writing on your blog Peuma! Try to use more adjectives in your writing. Adjectives are words that help to describe the characters in the story.
ReplyDeleteHi Peuma,wonderful story you just need to put more full stops because the reader is going to run out of breath.
ReplyDeleteHi peuma, this is Ngaire,I am so impressed with your work and I like your photo
ReplyDeleteHi Peuma Great Story but make sure you don't repeat words.The words you were repeating was "Land" and "Zombies". And describe the zombies and use adverbs or adjective.
ReplyDeleteHi Peuma, I like your story and I
ReplyDeleteam impressed for you to do your work
hi Peuma,i love your story i like your imagination
ReplyDeletei am impressed to nice job keep it up